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Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Pivot




There are few moments in time that pivot your life into a new direction like the moment your child is born.  It was 6:56 p.m on a cold January evening almost 30 years ago when Major Sandrock proclaimed, "It's a boy!"  to Doug and myself.   7 lbs and 2 oz of pure love.  Pure hope.  A future swaddled into my arms.  Nothing would be the same and I didn't want it to be.  I was a mother.  And Doug. He was a father. 

I remember the look on Doug's face at that moment as much as I remember the look of the baby.   His identity was forever changing.   He saw it too.   A life waiting to be written and we were entrusted to help write the story.   Three new people were born that day.  Three new identities.  Father, mother, and son.

I often wonder what my dad thought and felt the moment he heard those words when he became a father.   Did he have a similar look on his face that Doug did?  It's hard for me to know.  My dad was an absent father.  He and mama divorced when I was only 6 months old .  No phone calls.  No letters.  No visits.  No child support.  No gifts for Christmas for birthdays.  No way of knowing if he was dead or he was alive.  Then, came the day... there was another pivot.

I was in 7th grade.   I knew something was different.   In the living room sat my grandma, grandpa, and mom.  "Sit down girls," papaw said.   We plopped onto the floral 70's couch and surveyed the room.  Christmas cards hung from the door frame between the living room and dining room and the lights on the tree danced in the corner.  My mom wanted to capture this moment.  Mom handed my sister and I an envelope.   It looked like all the other card envelopes carrying Christmas wishes to the family, but it was far from ordinary. The return address was from Olympia, Washington and I knew nobody there.   Inside, was a red card.  It wasn't one of those cards that came from a box, but one of those cards that someone had to go to the aisle and pick out special.  The kind that looked like the wrapping paper itself.   My sister had the same card addressed to her.   I opened the card to see the signature.   Merry Christmas, it said.  From your ex-missing Father, Larry.  And just like that... my  world pivoted.  I went from wondering if dad was alive to wondering why things were the way they were.  Although the birth certificate said he was my father, he chose not to walk into that identity.

So much of the Christmas story revolves around the new baby swaddled in the manger.  As it should, but truth be told the whole world got a new identity that day.  Mary became a mother and Joseph became a father, but Heaven revealed a son and a Father to the world.  It was not becoming, but revealing their identities.

 Jesus was the Son before he was Mary's son.  And the Father.... He has always been the Father.  Now, we could see more of the fullness of what that means.   Never will we get a card from our Father that says your ex-missing Father.   He has walked into His identity of being Father.   It's up to us to surrender, like Jesus did when He came to Earth, to walking into our identity as His child.   When we do, I picture an angel in Heaven echoing the timeless words of Ross Geller, "PIVOT!"



Father,
Thank you being our daddy.  For not just being a name on the birth certificate, but for walking with us through life every step.  Thank you that you will never leave us or forsake us.  You will never abandon us and leave us fatherless.  You are the Father to the Fatherless.  You are our provider, protector, covering.  Nothing we can ever do will separate us from you except our own choice for you love us enough to let us choose.  Father, today I pray those reading this will walk a little deeper into their identity of who they are as your child.  They will know that whatever they need is found is you and rest in your arms. 

In Jesus' Name,
Amen




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