Yesterday, something strange happened on my Facebook wall. My "most liberal" and "most conservative" friends BOTH posted the above image and corresponding article. I scratched my head in confusion, giggled a little, but the incident kept running though my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I think it is a reflection of something bigger; the power of words and perceptions. It inspired me to do my own 'imagining' Will you join me?
Imagine if we chose our words more carefully:
- Imagine if we used the pronoun I more to express feelings, thoughts, and actions and the word you to express affirmation more than condemnation.
- Imagine if we used the pronoun we more to identify ourselves in the problems AND solutions.
- Imagine if we used the pronoun they less as a label.
- Imagine if we used the words should have, could have, and would have to incite learning more and to assign blame less. What if we used those words toward ourselves first and foremost since we can only truly change ourselves and from those changes, collective changes can take place.
- Imagine if used fewer absolutes like never and always when referring to people and their actions.
- Imagine if we conveyed our thoughts and feelings and reasons for them if possible when we can and leave less open to interpretation. For example, using I statements such as I feel _____ when____because ______and I would like _______. Another way to do this is to use language similar to what Brene Brown teaches with the phrase, "The story I'm telling myself is....." To echo Brene Brown once again, clear is kind.
- Imagine if we used a plethora of adjectives and adverbs when affirming, but used them sparingly when we disagree with someone.
Imagine if we shifted our perceptions:
- Imagine if we were quick to listen to another person, even if, and maybe especially if, their point of view was different from our own. But as we listen, imagine if we listen to understand, not reply. Imagine if in these conversations we were slow to speak and slow to become angry.
- Imagine if we understand that we all have a bias based on our our experiences and beliefs. What if we acknowledged those biases and didn't throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater because someone's bias was different than ours. Instead, what if we look for the common ground and build from these places.
- Imagine if every time we interacted with another person we did so with the objective to learn and grow from that interaction instead of prove our point.
- Imagine if we stopped and thought about what battle we were really fighting. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." The battles are good vs. evil, but they often manifest as:
- trust vs. fear
- mercy vs. vengence
- love vs. hate
- grace vs. condemnation
- forgiveness vs. unforgiveness
- knowledge vs. ignorance
- An infinate amount of other manifestations
- Imagine if we approached people knowing we are all on our own walk through this life and this means that we all have different experiences (nurture) and make up (nature). That means we are all as unique as our fingerprints. Our job is not to all be alike, but to use our diversity for good.
- Imagine if we accepted people where they are in their journey, not necessarily condoning where they are, but not necessarily condemning them either. That doesn't mean we just say we can all do whatever, but acknowledging that somone can't do more than they know. They can't show what they don't understand. They can't solve problems they don't know exist. However, when we know better, let us do better, but let us forgive ourselves and others for not knowing or doing better sooner.
- Imagine if we understood and accepted that life and learning is messy. Mistakes are an integral part of the process, but we choose how to use what we learn from those mistakes and it is in those choices where change happens and learning takes place.
- Imagine if we acknowledged that none of us on this crazy planet are all good or bad, right or wrong, or any other absolutes. We live in the place between those absolutes.
To quote, John Lennon, "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." I dare say we can all think of people who had dreams thoughout history and in our own lives; and when they acted on those dreams change happened. But a dream without action is pointless.
Sometimes actions seems small, but are really big and vice versa. One action we can all take is to be mindful of what we think and say/write. We won't be perfect, but perfection isn't the goal on this planet, growth is. Will you join me? Imagine... and do... until we have to imagine no more.
I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me
